Good Times Ahead! Learning Optimism
“A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.”–Harry S. Truman
Did you know that optimism is learned? According to Martin Seligman PhD, a psychologist and educator, learned optimism is an idea in positive psychology stating that a positive outlook can be cultivated, like any other talent.
This idea is contrasted with learned helplessness. Learned helplessness theory is the view that negative outlook may result from a perceived absence of control over the outcome of a situation. The word perceived is so important because it means it can be changed. It’s a perspective that is steeped in a pessimistic viewpoint.
Learned optimism is done consciously by challenging negative self talk. Seligman states that the benefits to an optimistic outlook are many including: higher achievement and better health overall.
So what does optimism have to do with communication? A lot actually. It relates to framing and reframing. In communication we filter our perceptions of the world in particular ways, essentially making some aspects of our multi-dimensional reality more noticeable than other aspects. We put frames on everything.
When we communicate we are framing while we are processing information. Sometimes we get stuck in a “helpless” or victim position, where we believe that we can’t change the course of a conversation. However, reframing can help when we are stuck. We can always reframe a conversation. Think about a how changing a picture frame can change the way we see a picture. It is the same idea with communication. Rather than give up and call it a defeat, we can always step outside of the conversation, regroup, and try a new approach. This is where we can think about learned optimism. Learning skills like optimism can help us to have a positive attitude about others and our communication. We can shift our mindset by reframing. We can look at things with a fresh perspective!
There is a picture book that elaborates this concept well. It is called, “Not a Box” by Antoinette Portis. It is a simple story with a great message about reframing. The book states, “A box is just a box…unless it’s not a box.” From a mountain to a rocket ship, a small rabbit shows that a box will go as far as the imagination allows.
When we see things with only one possibility (i.e., a box) without using any creativity or imagination, we limit our choices. Opening up our mind to multiple possibilities and potential outcomes is a way to start learning optimism and improving our communication.
