Lessons I Have Learned from Negotiating with Terrific Two-Year-Olds
10 Things I Have Learned about Negotiating with Two-Year-Olds
Every two-year-old I know is unique and wonderful. And they are amazing natural negotiators. These are ten of the things I have learned from negotiating with my kids when they were two years old:
- 1. Two-year-olds are VERY resourceful and even more determined! This gives them a huge advantage in negotiations.
- 2. Two-years-olds never seem to tire. When I am exhausted, they usually are just getting started. Their stamina alone gets them a long way in every negotiation.
- 3. There is an incredible power imbalance in my negotiations with a two-year-old—and I am usually in the less powerful position. I find my self resorting to compromises and deal-making that I would never dream of doing when negotiating with an adult.
- 4. Two-year-olds are not afraid to say NO! Very forcefully!
- 5. They stand their ground! They will keep negotiating until they get what they want.
- 6. They are good at garnering support and allies (e.g., my husband, their grandma, their siblings) to help them negotiate against me. How many times have I heard my mother say, “Oh, just give it to him.” That’s usually followed with, “Look how cute he is.”
- 7. Two-year-olds don’t know what embarrassment means. My two year-old is willing to make demands (loudly and continuously) in public, if that gets him what he wants.
- 8. Two-year-olds live in the moment. This means that one negotiation can end without warning and a new negotiation can begin that is completely unrelated. I am lost and confused, and he does not care.
- 9. Two-year-olds speak their own technical negotiation language. It is very difficult to negotiate with someone who is saying, “Where dododo do? Find dododo. Bib dododo.” If I say “What?” he just says “DODODO” louder.
- 10. Two-year-old negotiators have an unfair advantage because, well, they are ADORABLE!
Two-year-olds are probably my favorite kind of human! They are so spunky, determined, hilarious and exhausting! They have a unique and naturally effective ability to negotiate. I love learning from them!
In the world of picture books, there is one character who embodies this spunkiness and determination like no other. I love David from David Shannon’s books. Even though I believe he is supposed to be older than two, he has so many of the characteristics I love of a two-year-old. I recommend both No David!and David Gets in Trouble. 
And if you are a fan of those books, check out Alice the Fairy also by David Shannon. Pretty adorable!
I can relate to this article very well because I currently have a nephew that is of this age. All I can say about this boy is that he never stops. He’s always on the move, and he is ALWAYS very creative when it comes to making up stories. (:
This is so true! I feel like my niece already knows the power of this as a nine month old! She will start screaming and until whatever she wants happens she won’t stop. They are adorable, and nearly impossible to please unless what they are wanting is given to them.
Agreed, my nephew just turned three and he definitely knows how to bend the rules. He can easily sit at a table for 30 minutes refusing to have one bite of the food until my brother either relents or forces him to eat it.
I can agree with all of these points, and some times, unfortunately they don’t grow out of it. My little brother is approaching 14 and still holds onto most of these negotiating points. He gets away with all sorts of things that I wouldn’t have even thought about attempting. And when he is negotiating he very seldom compromises, maybe its a teenager thing too. I suppose someday he will pull out of it….. Hopefully.
A quote that a friend of mine uses with their family when their kids are making unrealistic demands and throwing hissy fits and such is: “We don’t negotiate with terrorists.” I find that quite funny and in their family the kids know that it means they are not going to get anywhere until they act and ask in a civilized manner.